Monday back at work
I think a decision has been made sub-consciously
Why should I take things so seriously and put myself on the chopping board?
5 years down the road, I won’t be here anymore
I don’t see myself here even next year
There’s simply no reason for me to take the rap for what’s happening now
Since everyone doesn’t seem to care
I shall wash my hands off it too!
This is not good
The feeling I have now
Reminds me so much of my Jetstar days
I don’t feel like going out to see anyone
There seems to be judging eyes on me all the time
If I turn, the person behind me is probably passing comments on me
I dread going to work so badly
Feels like waking up in a hospital is better off lying in my bed at home
At least I don’t have to turn up for work the next day
I don’t need to expose myself to those people whose heart is so malicious
I want to run away from everything
Desperately
Please give me something to cling on
Before I lose myself… …
It’s like the bitter before sweetness
I am draining all my braincells for exams
Fear that I would fail and get binded for another torturous semester
I want to be excited for the trip
But these papers are really getting to me
Breathe and Focus
I desperately need a break
I’m trying to drive myself up the wall
And trying to be saint at the same time
Losing myself
Slowly… …
Til I lost myself completely
I must have lost myself recently
Getting irritated at the slightest things
Not tolerant to anything that doesn’t follow my heart
B.R.E.A.T.H.E
Thought I lost something that belong to the company since last week
Searching high and low for it everywhere in office and home
Almost gave up when I saw it lying innocently in my office drawer
B.R.E.A.T.H.E
Thought I lost my eye shadow brush
Haven’t been using eye shadow for more than a week because of that
And it was all along in the pouch I bring out everyday
B.R.E.A.T.H.E
Where did they disappear off to, I wonder?
A 4th dimension perhaps
Now we all know what my mind is pre-occupied with
Tsk Tsk
I must have woken on the wrong side of bed this morning
Something is simply not right
Alright
Perhaps I shouldn’t have taken the nap yesterday afternoon
Tossing and turning in bed the whole night
Knowing you’d be damn tired the next day
Sheer.Torture
Anyway a plan is in place for getaway
This year has been stressed and filled to the brim
So many things to worry about
Work and school is stressing me out way too much
I need to run away from everything!!!
A graduation trip to reward myself perhaps?
I hope it’ll eventually fall into place
Teehee!
I get irritated at the slightest things
B.R.E.A.T.H.E
I have so much fantasies
But I’m indulging in it within my own small world
It doesn’t matter, actually
After all, they are just mere harmless thoughts that make me happy
But I chid myself for having them
I wanna stay my saint self 24/7
Such dilemma
I shouldn’t be worrying about all these things at this time
Especially when I’m supposedly rushing report for school
Argh~
School things are back weighing on my mind constantly now
I need to get myself on the running track again tomorrow
To shed off all the burdens
Literally
Someone said there is a difference between things you can do well and things you’d like to do well
This statement got me thinking
What have I been keeping myself busy with?
I guess I’m just preoccupied with things I can do well with
So that I can invest in things I’d like to do well
Or not
I guess it’s rather
Investing in things I’d like and might not even do well in
Ha~
Either way
I’m just trying to make myself happier
It’s just that I somehow got lost along the way
I wish too much
I wish our world is smaller
And our hearts would meet
I wish things were less difficult
And I could push myself harder
I wish I could right the wrongs I made in the past
Those wrongs that got me to where I am today
I need a Santa Claus
If things don’t turn for the better
The problem could be lying with me
Perhaps I myself am the root of all the troubles
Yet again
I find it hard to change myself and change the situation
So what should I do?
What is there left to do?
On a lighter note
One of the loots
Fiction and Fact album by BEAST
I am missing the members already…
It seems like only yesterday that they are right in front of me
It looks kinda weird placing the album beside my bias from Super Junior isn’t it?
Oops!